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TODAY
Crack up the youngsters with these 162 funny jokes for kids
Kait Hanson and Esther Sun and Rebecca Dube
Tue, June 18, 2024 at 5:08 AM GMT+1
11 min read
1
Crack up the youngsters with these 162 funny jokes for kids
Yahoo is using AI to generate takeaways from this article. This means the info may not always match what’s in the article. Reporting mistakes helps us improve the experience.
Generate Key Takeaways
Thee good, clean jokes for kids might just make you the star of the next family road trip, reunion or family dinner.
These 162 funny jokes for kids are for moms, aunts, uncles, grandparents, second cousins twice removed and anyone with a child in their life: Don’t let dads have all the fun with dad jokes.
Start your kids young with appreciating corny humor, and one day you’ll reach the goal of every jokester parent, when your child starts telling YOU jokes. True, it may take a few tries for them to get the punchline right, but you know what they say about how to get to Carnegie Hall, right?
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Practice.
Try one of these of these solid gold jokes during your family’s next Taco Tuesday, and you might just win a reputation as the funny one in the family. You never know which ones will be a hit with the kids.
162 Funny Jokes For Kids
Ready to crack up the littlest people in your life? We’ve broken down these 162 funny jokes for kids by category, so you can find exactly what you need to get those children ROTFL.
24 Summer Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
What did the pig say on a hot day? I’m bacon.
Where do sheep spend their summer vacation? The Baaaaa-hamas.
What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? They’re shellfish.
How do ducks celebrate 4th of July? Firequackers.
Why can’t you blame a dolphin for doing something wrong? They didn’t do it on porpoise.
What type of music do whales listen to? Orca-stra.
Why did the robot take a summer vacation? He needed to recharge.
Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
What do cats like to eat in the summer? Mice cream cones.
What is a frog’s favorite summertime treat? Hopsicles.
What do ghosts like to eat in the summer? I scream.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
Where do birds stay when they go on vacation? Someplace cheep.
Did you hear about the ice cream truck accident? It crashed on a rocky road.
Why don’t seashells take baths? Because they wash up on the beach.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish? Swimming trunks.
What happens when ice cream gets angry? It has a meltdown.
Did you hear about the sunflower that was excited for summer? It wet its plants.
Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.
What do you call an anxious mosquito? A jitterbug.
How many blueberries can you grow on a bush? All of them.
What did the tree say when summer finally arrived? What a re-leaf.
Why did the watch go on vacation? To unwind.
20 Knock Knock Jokes For Kids
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. The interrupting… MOOOOOOO!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold outside.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Deja vu. Deja vu who? Knock knock!
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Knock, knock! Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eyesore. Eyesore who? Eyesore do love you.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Look. Look who? Look through the peephole and find out.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Says. Says who? Says me!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Glad you’re excited, too.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help right now!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says mooooo!
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Knock knock. Who’s there? Owls. Owls who? They sure do!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car go beep beep!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Wah. Wah who? It’s-a me, Mario!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-h-o.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Pecan. Pecan who? Pecan somebody your own size!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Wafer. Wafer who? Wafer me — I’m coming!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, here I come!
35 Animal Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue.
What do you call a tiger that drinks lemonade? A sour puss.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three Blind Mice.
How do you get a squirrel’s attention? Act like a nut.
What do you call birds falling in love? Tweet hearts.
What do you write in a rabbit’s birthday card? Hoppy birthday!
What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investi-gator.
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because it’s always spotted.
What do you get if you cross a beatle and an Australian cattle dog? Dingo Starr.
Why are fish so smart? They live in schools.
What do eats eat for dessert? Chocolate mouse.
What did the birds call the owl telling jokes? Hoot-larious.
What type of snake ate all the desserts? A pie-thon.
What did the dog magician say? Lab-racadabra!
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies
How much money does a skunk have? One scent.
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It’s one or the udder.
What did the hawk say when it fell off the branch? Well, this is hawk-ward.
What do sea lions say when they hear a bad joke? That’s the seal-iest thing I’ve ever heard.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrele-phant.
What did the alpaca say when he wanted to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.
What it it called when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal? A dino-score.
Why did the turkey join a band? So she could use her drumsticks.
What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing? An elephant’s shadow.
What’s a frog’s favorite game? Leapfrog.
Who wears shoes while sleeping? A horse.
Why couldn’t the duck stop laughing? He was quacking up.
Why couldn’t the pony sing a song? She was a little horse.
Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish.
Where do cows go for fun? The moo-vies.
What is the name of the horse next door? Neigh-bor.
Why do dogs like cell phones? They have collar ID.
25 Funny Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
What do clouds wear under their clothes? Thunder-wear.
What did the volcano say to the other? I lava you.
Why are sports stadiums always so cold? They’re filled with fans.
What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates.
How does a vampire start a letter? “Tomb it may concern…”
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between us, something smells.
Who’s a dessert’s favorite actor? Robert Brownie, Jr.
What did the little corn say to the mama corn? I miss pop corn.
What do you call a ghost’s lover? His ghoul-friend.
Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
What do you cakes and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.
How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese? Moatzarella.
What has a head and tail but no body? A coin.
Where will you find Friday before Thursday? A dictionary.
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake.
What did the mom flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
Why was the computer chilly? It left a window open.
How did the cabbage win the race? It was a-head.
What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
2
Math Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
What are ten things you can always count on? Your fingers.
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
Why was the geometry teacher late to class? She sprained her angle.
What tool is most helpful in a math classroom? Multi-pliers.
What’s a swimmer’s favorite kind of math? Dive-ision.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine.
How do you make seven an even number? Remove the S.
Which king loved fractions? Henry the 8th.
What do you call friends who love math? Alge-bros.
Why is the obtuse triangle always so irritated? Because it’s never right.
What type of carpeting did the geometry teacher use? An area rug.
Do you know what’s odd? Every other number.
What tables don’t require any math? Dinner tables.
Why should you never argue with a 90-degree angle? They are always right.
How does the math teacher plow his farm? A pro-tractor.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
How do you stay warm in every room? Go to the corner, which is always 90 degrees.
Why was the math textbook always so sad? It had a ton of problems.
If a farmer has 199 sheep, how many will he have when he rounds them up? 200.
Which knight created the round table? Sir Cumference.
12 Fall Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
What do you call pumpkin who works at the beach? A life-gourd.
Are any Halloween monsters good at math? No, unless you Count Dracula.
Which is the cutest of all the seasons? Awww-tumn.
Who won the skeleton contest? No body.
Why is Dracula so easy to trick? He’s a sucker.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Why was the jack-o-lantern so afraid? He had no guts.
Why did the tree fail their exam? They got stumped on every question.
How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
What did the sick pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.
12 Winter Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
What do you get when you milk a cow in Alaska? Snow.
What do you call a snowman who goes on vacation in July? A puddle.
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Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades? A snowmobile.
How do polar bears make their beds? Sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do snowmen call their kids? Chill-dren.
Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They have snow caps.
What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank.
What is the best way to decorate a snowman’s birthday cake? Lots of ice-ing.
What do you call a snowman’s dog? Slush puppy.
12 Spring Jokes For Kids
jokes for kids (TODAY)
jokes for kids (TODAY)
What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren’t so fresh, we wouldn’t be in this jam.
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What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
When do monkeys fall from the sky? Ape-ril showers.
What can fall but never gets hurt? Rain.
Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words.
What do you call a well dressed cat? A dandy lion.
Why did the farmer plant $100 bills? To make his soil rich.
How do bees brush their hair? Honeycombs.
Why are the trees so forgiving? Every fall they say “Let it go.”
What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow.
How do bees get to school? A school buzz.
What’s a chick’s favorite food? Egg-plant.
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
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